t Funny Status Messages

   The police got in a foot chase with a computer hacker. They didn’t catch him. He just ransomware.

   Whoever said a mask and gloves were enough to go to the grocery store clearly lied. Everyone else had clothes on.

   I'm here to announce that I too am suspending my Presidential Campaign. I want to thank all my supporters and the one or two of you that even knew that I was running.

   Turning on your lights and sirens after losing a drag race is just poor sportsmanship

   Imagine the disappointment if a wolf knew it’s descendant would be a pug. That’s how your grandpa feels when he sees your man bun.

   funny how the smell of a fart can remind you of the meals you've consumed for the day

   What others perceive,what others think,what does that has to do with you? World's a game,why you should be playing by their rules

   realized that alcohol is not the answer,it just makes you forget the question

   The roast of Donald Trump wouldve been alot funnier with Greg Giraldo mixed in there I loved his jokes on the previous ones.... R.I.P Greg

   I love spending time with the woman of my dreams, it's the waking up and needing a cold shower bit I hate.