shamus Funny Status Messages

   i just hate it when I buy a loaf of bread with an odd number of slices. That last slice always seems to get neglected.

   I always wanted a good job and to drive fancy cars... finally I am a valet.

   if the Cowboys are "America's Team," we might as well just learn to like soccer.

   born at a very young age.

   I tuned into the Miss Universe Pageant hoping to see Miss Jupiter, but it turns out only Earth entered the competition.

   Following a successful off-season surgery, Favre appears ready to return for his 20th NFL season.... lobotomies must heal fairly quickly.

   Following a successful off-season surgery, Favre appears ready to return for his 20th NFL season.... lobotomies must heal fairly quickly.

   R.I.P. Mr. Steinbrenner... I never really "hated" your Yankees, just wish you would have bought the Braves!

   Onomatopoeias are one thing, but then there are words that look like what they are... like bed.

   Breakfast was going well until that creepy new Tiger Woods commercial with his late father's voice came on... now I'm just playing with my oatmeal.