pimpjuice Funny Status Messages

   If someone has to lie, cheat and steal to get your vote, they're not the leader you're looking for.

   Well on a positive note, Charlie Sheen.

   So let me get this straight. Hot dogs are the new cancer sticks?

   It really shouldn't be that hard to convict Bill Cosby. Everyone knows that the proof is in the pudding!

   All I'm saying is if she was any dumber I'd have to water her.

   The worst part about having a teenager is every time I lose my weed, I freak out and wonder if my son took it.

   I heard it's no bread, no head. Well ladies, I just picked a loaf up!

   someone to love and someone that loves me. and it would be awesome if they were the same person for once

   My girlfriend came out of the shower and said "I shaved down there, you know what that means?" I said, "You're donating to Locks of Love?"

   ATTENTION LADIES: I will now be downgrading expectations from someone I can love to someone I can tolerate. Act now while this amazing deal still lasts!