ds Funny Status Messages

   Paul Ryan joins older siblings, Rex and Rob, in attempt to lead dozens of grown men determined to undermine him.

   I bet Curious George's owner is getting his azz pinched off today for St Patty's Day

   So...Tiger Woods, Kobe Bryant, and Ben Rothelisberger walk into a bar........

   Happy Valentines Day baby, just to prove my love to you I am going to take you to Red Lobster today for lunch and let you get appetizers and shiattt

   What a night...can't remember a thing...why is there waffle house syrup in the bed..the lingerie hanging from the chandelier is hot! but, umm, where are the girls? were there....any...girls here last night????

   Some of my best relationships now are with people who I dont have relationships with anymore.....

   I measure the wealth of my day by asking myself did I add more friends today over friends who have deleted me on Facebook

   Winter always reminds to think ahead for the springtime...meaning...gotta find somewhere to hide the bodies when the snow thaws.......

   My New Year's Resolution is to finish what I star........

   After all these years It finally hit me why Prison/Jail is called "The Pokey"