dc Funny Status Messages

   I would imagine I'll react with double the glee when Sleepy Joe dies as you clowns feel about Rush.

   How embarrassing. First day of Chinese New Year, and I just wrote "Dog" on a check instead of "Pig".

   When one door closes another one opens. Or you could jut re-open the closed door. Because that’s how doors work.

   No you're mom was so last Friday night...

   I just found out that all the people who say "You haven't changed a bit" have been lying to me. :)

   "May your beer always be dry and your women always moist."

   Some days you tame the tiger. And some days the tiger has you for lunch.

   Every day above ground is a good day.

   At the end of your life, you should get a rebate for however much time you spent learning cursive.

   if they give you a bib for lobster, they should definitely give you a diaper for Indian food.