acreak Funny Status Messages

   If I was to ever own a race horse I would name it "Two Trailer Park Girls" and train it to go 'round the outside just I can hear the caller do an Eminem impression!

   I am really getting tired of everytime I go out people use me for my body. You know, to shade them from the sun and all.

   Have you heard they came out with a "NEW" Seven Dwarfs? Moody, Pissy, B*tchy, Tipsy, Clutzy, Crabby and his twin Crappy. They all live in my house cleverly disguised as my family! Want to come over?

   Today is Ash Wednesday, the day that I get to go around and tell people they have a nice "ash" and not get funny looks or get in trouble.

   PSA: My patience today is about as thin as my oldest pair of panties. If you are stupid please stay away from me.

   My boss walks by my desk almost everyday and says, "Wake Up" even though I am clearly awake. So today I replied, "How could anyone sleep with the strong odor of bullsh*t around here anyway, but they always say you can't smell yourself like others can."

   No NBA this year?! Great! I don't like watching overpaid athletes in baggy shorts run up and down a basketball court anyway. I'd rather watch overpaid athletes in tight pants run up and down a football field or around a diamond.

   Today is "Work Like A Dog Day". SO, I shall eat, sleep and wag my tail. Oh and maybe slobber a bit.

   Today is Moon Day and Ugly Truck Day. So if you own an Ugly Truck, please feel free to Moon people today, but for safety's sake please only do it at red lights.

   This week is Nude Recreation Week, in related news today is Cheer Up The Lonely Day and World Population Day. I think this is an excellent combination because if you play it right you can celebrate all 3 at one time!