StonerDudee Funny Status Messages

   Most nights at 2am I think of where I will be in ten, fifteen, twenty years. Other nights at 2am I wonder if I'll even make it that far.

   This girl I know said she has 206 bones in her body. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207

   What are nudes? Someone show me.

   When people stay in a horrific relationship instead of breaking up, I assume they killed someone together.

   You are on the list of the many things I would do for a Klondike bar.

   Police ordered me to get out of my car 'You're staggering' said the officer .'you're not a bad looking f*cker yourself' I replied

   I seriously hate it when a couple starts having an argument in front of you. They could have least waited until I got dressed and left.

   This lady behind me is reading what I'm writing while I'm waiting on line in the pharmacy. Can't wait till she .....aaaAAHHHHH! THAT'S RIGHT LADY!!!....Look away!

   I can not be held responsible for what my face does when you talk.

   On the bright side, selfie sticks are also lightning rods.