Eddie Funny Status Messages

   True Story: Justin Bieber got his 1st tattoo at the age of sixteen. It was a Butterfly on his lower back just above the bikini line.

   My Wife was reading the newspaper this morning and yelled "Honey, the sales add says the dealership will make it easy to get a new car for your spouse this weekend!"..... Me: "Actually that sounds like a pretty good trade."

   I just found out my mother-in-law is going to be staying with us for the Thanksgiving Weekend. Well, it looks like I have to clean out the hall closet again.....she is going to need somewhere to hang upside down and sleep

   My wife just yelled that I pay more attention to Facebook than I do to her, or at least that's what I think she said to me....

   My home is in Heaven, I'm just traveling through this world....

   Just made my CVS receipt from purchasing a single pack of gum into an entire "Roll of Toilet Paper"

   My favorite part of a Niki Minaj song is where I smash my IPod on the ground and stomp on it!

   I am really looking forward to my favorite Thanksgiving tradition. Watching the "Black Friday" shoppers at Walmart trampling each other on the evening news.

   Evaluate the people in your life; Then promote, demote or terminate! You're the CEO of your life....

   I accidently grabbed the wrong shopping cart at Walmart and I'm hoping this kid stops crying because I am not going to raise a crybaby!