Chester Bello Funny Status Messages

   wish every relationship i've been in had a 30 day money back guarantee!

   Dear iPhone, I'm pretty sure I meant to spell "b*tches" not "chubies"

   All the things I really like are either immoral, illegal or fattening

   If con is the opposite of pro, what's the opposite of progress?

   I like having those fat girls as myspace friends, they always provide the cleavage photos, no wonder they receive so many darn comments

   a guy dating a twin, haha, try telling her she's one of a kind!

   I hate it when people don't let me sleep, especially when I'm driving

   somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine

   the only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about

   can I put on the Scream mask when I do you from behind