Bob B Funny Status Messages

   I walked a mile their shoes and I didn't end up carrying a flat screen 50" TV out of a closed store in Ferguson.

   Million dollar idea: Nothing's better than the smell of a new born baby. Now if we could figure out how to bottle that in a mans cologne. Hear that sound? That's the sound of bra's snapping all over.

   A thief broke into my house last night searching for ‘Money’ …. I joined him in the search.

   Bumped and grinded last night.....my head on bed post and my teeth

   BREAKING NEWS: The pilot of the missing Malaysian plane was known to go by the name Waldo.

   My new girlfriend takes my breath away...she's insatiable and inflatable....then, sadly, I poked her.

   Props to Rahm Emanuel for doing the Polar Plunge.....now it's time for him to do the Pothole Plunge

   McDonalds sponsoring the Olympics is akin to Trojan sponsoring Vatican events.

   It is becoming clear to me that the North beat the South in the Civil War by shooting fake snow at them out of cannons.

   I'm thinking this Super Bowl will create the biggest buzz of all and more shotguns than ever.