@spitfirefreak Funny Status Messages

   Somewhere out there there's a tree, tirelessly producing oxygen so you could breathe. I think some f you owe it an apology.

   if I was meant to be controlled, I would have come with a remote.

   Need a half hour f quiet time? Ask her fo a selfie.

   The friend suggestions? If you're bored and got nothing better to do in the night, start rating them and give 'em grades on their inbox. Once you get a reply, tell 'em it wasn't you, but what looking at their dps turned your mood clock into.#Blametheweed

   I can make your day better just by not being part of it

   I love intelligent women with high I.Q.s, but man it sure makes keeping track f the lies a pain in the ass..!

   I wish I were a glow worm, A glow worm's never glum. "Cause how can you be grumpy, when the sun shines out your bum?!

   If I had a mood ring on today, it'd be flashing like a disco ball..!

   "Just because you Can't dance, doesn't mean you Shouldn't dance." - Alcohol.

   If you love her, let her go out drinking with her friends.. If she calls you drunk, she is yours.. If she turns off her cell, she never was.