@Torren_T Funny Status Messages

   No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing.

   I don't flirt with women, I flirt with disaster.

   Just got some Tiger's Blood. Thanks Charlie!

   I have the cape... I make whoosh noises...

   A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.

   To my Family & Friends. There were probably many times this year when I may have disturbed you, troubled you, pestered you, irritated you, bugged you, or got on your nerves. So today I just wanted to tell you. Suck it up cupcake! There are NO CHANGES plan

   I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle.

   Santa calls me a Ho three times when he sees me. Like he knows me or somethin...

   Expect the entire internet to run slower for a while. 11 million nerds are sucking up the bandwidth to experience the Cataclysm.

   I'm about to overdose on Christmas music...