Funny Status Messages

   !ffo ssip dna rovaf a lla su oD: ereh no elpoep eht flah morf uoy rof egassem a tog I ,stnemmoc tnarongi gnikam dna ereh no gnimoc speek ohw nosrep eht oT

   I got tazed in the zoo again for telling a group of kids that an angry giraffe is called a grrraffe.

   neurosurgeon: *removes Gary Koenig brain to blow on it and put it back in*

   Calling it the Philadelphia Zoo is redundant.

   Looks like GaryKoenig is back. Afraid to use his name on the jokes that are the same and still so very lame. lame

   Based on the sounds coming from my neighbors’ house, they’re either having amazing sex or putting together a dresser from Ikea.

   I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

   I just hate it when I buy a bag of air and there's chips in it.

   Why do bras and batteries come in the same sizes? This is why I stay up at nights.

   There are approximately zero ways to chase paper in the wind without looking like the village idiot