yobs Funny Status Messages

   just had my LEFT side removed. I'm all RIGHT now

   it is never too late to be what you might have been.. :D

   The guy who discovered milk….What was he doing with that cow?

   Why do banks attach chains to their pens? If I'm trusting you with my money, you should trust me with your pens.

   These days: Smart Phones, Stupid People

   To-Do List : Nothing [✓]

   I know a kid named Jay, but we call him J for short.

   That hilarious moment when someone tries to make you jealous, when you honestly don't give a fuck.

   Karma takes too long ..... I'd rather beat the sh%t out of you.

   That mini heart attack you get when you reach in your pocket and your phone isn't there.

   I can't live without y̶o̶u̶. FOOD...

   Saying you'll wake up early in the morning to get something done, then in the morning convincing yourself it's not important.

   ❒ Single. ❒ Taken. ✔ Helping Mario get his biatch Peach back!

   What you do when people sing happy birthday to you: 5% - Sing. 10% - Smile. 85% - Sit there like a dumbf#ck trying to figure out what to do.

   First time on a roller coaster. Final Destination.

   ❒ Single ❒ Taken ✔ Eating

   In awkward situations, we all pretend to text.