t Funny Status Messages

   loves to give false and misleading information to gossipers... it messes them up and makes them look ridiculously stupid! hahaha

   I love spending time with the woman of my dreams, it's the waking up and needing a cold shower bit I hate.

   The roast of Donald Trump wouldve been alot funnier with Greg Giraldo mixed in there I loved his jokes on the previous ones.... R.I.P Greg

   realized that alcohol is not the answer,it just makes you forget the question

   What others perceive,what others think,what does that has to do with you? World's a game,why you should be playing by their rules

   funny how the smell of a fart can remind you of the meals you've consumed for the day

   Imagine the disappointment if a wolf knew it’s descendant would be a pug. That’s how your grandpa feels when he sees your man bun.

   Turning on your lights and sirens after losing a drag race is just poor sportsmanship

   I'm here to announce that I too am suspending my Presidential Campaign. I want to thank all my supporters and the one or two of you that even knew that I was running.

   Whoever said a mask and gloves were enough to go to the grocery store clearly lied. Everyone else had clothes on.

   The police got in a foot chase with a computer hacker. They didn’t catch him. He just ransomware.