silhouette Funny Status Messages

   I shot Big Foot and dumped him in the ocean before I could get any pictures.

   Fellas......if she wears bracelettes she's most likely in to handcuffs too. Run like hell.

   Kissing a sleeping woman in an animated Disney movie, romantic.....but do it on a bus and the judge doesn't agree.

   Merry Christmas......now that this is out of the way....I can justify the rest of my day with alcohol and shenanigans.

   Thank you everyone who group text me with Merry Christmas. I just woke up to hundreds of "you too" texts from people I don't know....fml

   Am I the only person who will admit to intentionally peeing outside when it is cold just because I think it is neat to watch the steam rise?

   did anyone else besides me use a brown marker to draw nipples on the neighborhood girls Barbies when they were kids?

   if I hear one more person say "its not that kind of party...put your pants back on"....i'm gonna lose it.