sbenj69 Funny Status Messages

   NEW FB VIRUS!! THIS IS A BAD ONE!! This virus looks up your kids' birth certificates and sells them on Ebay, your dog will run away, you will gain weight, your cell phone won't get reception, cats and mice will unite, Reading this may have infected you!

   A man buys a box of tampons for his old lady, and the cashier asks, "Do you want me to put these in the bag". The man replies, "No, I think she can do it by herself."

   Apparently, it's illegal to set up deer stands..... especially at petting zoos, even during deer season.... Lesson learned.... next year I will set up at a non-petting zoo.

   They say the key to a woman's heart is an unexpected gift at an unexpected time. I call "BS". Apparently it's not romantic to give a woman a see-thru nighty during confirmation.

   As a parent, I find myself using the same cliches my parents did.... for example, "Wimp! It's only Everclear!"

   The #1 song when you were born is a great idea, however, if they came out with an app that gave the #1 song when you died, I think I would stop listening to music

   Women claim to watch movies for the intellectual content.... please explain Magic Mike. It hasn't even been released yet, and I'm scared to sit in theater seats!

   it wrong to poke a friend with a facebook status of, "Ending it all, standing on the edge of a cliff?" Asking for a friend.