rikkisowtz Funny Status Messages

   ha ha suckers, gullible IS in the dictionary, I checked....

   kissed a girl [then click "like"]

   the 93% of people who will NOT re-post this as my status (all chain-status updates)

   : If you have ever seen me drunk, click the 'like' button... 30 or more likes, you have a problem.

   wondering how women on tv desert islands always have perfectly shaved legs & armpits? I mean, there's no chicks in 'Lost' kicking around in mohair stockings...

   Go to google, type in 'giraffes are' and check out the auto complete suggestions...

   I know this is bad taste... But do you think this means we'll be seeing an increase in Japanese Superheroes?...

   to all my friends who wished me happy birthday today, thank you! You've really made me smile. Especially cause it wasn't really my birthday. Happy April Fools! :)

   Hmmm.. That's weird... I was the 100,000 visitor yesterday too... Winning streak!

   This is amazing! Copy and paste this as your status, and within 5 minutes, NOTHING WILL HAPPEN! This really works! I tried it twice and it worked both times. Copy and paste this as your status, more people need to know about this ♥♥♥

   Pick up line of the day: Hey, did you know that girls can't touch their elbows together? (works best with women wearing low-cut shirts)

   pretty excited about the recent discovery of the Higgs Boston or God particle... I could be wrong, but if my calculations are correct, this means 'Mass Effect' IRL!!!?

   There's a bustle in my hedgerow; what do I do?! - feeling alarmed

   Tony Abbott as self appointed Minister for Women's Affairs? “I felt a great disturbance in the Force; as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced”.

   "Tom Clancy - Dead at 66". I've not read that one, do hope it's as good as his other books

   To this day, the girl who used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, she makes great Subway sandwiches

   Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap? Hells Bells! I must say, I'm Thunderstruck. I know it's a Long Way To The Top, and if You Want Blood, you'd better Shoot To Thrill with a Big Gun, but still he must have some Big Balls. I guess Money Talks...

   whenever I see a can of Glen 20, I think to myself "do you reckon that's Ben 10's older brother?" Then I laugh. And wonder how other people put up with me.

   How does Sean Connery shave? Ctrl + S

   My friend told me Alan Rickman had died. I said "You're joking?". She replied "Nope. Dead Sirius."