octane Funny Status Messages

   How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

   I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"

   If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

   Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

   The Miss Universe pageant is fixed. All the winners are from Earth.

   Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

   Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.

   Virginity is not a dignity.It's just a Lack of opportunity.

   To think, it takes time. To think what to think takes even more time. To think what you just read takes less time.

   What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh*t..."

   The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list

   To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

   Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

   My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

   To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.