mikem Funny Status Messages

   can not believe Google.com banned the word 'gullible' from being entered in the search field!

   thinking what is this world coming too?... I started to Google "Is it wrong", when Google started to fill in the suggested searches... Ah... well.... disturbing

   believes dinosaurs were made up by the CIA to discourage time travel.

   the font smaller, or am I on acid??

   found out that if you play a Justin Beiber album backwards, you hear satanic messages. What's even worse is, if you play it forward, you hear Justin Bieber...

   if I tell Santa what I want for Christmas, then I will definately be on the naughty list...

   some days I wake up all ready to take on the world!! Today is NOT one of those days

   Santa better take me off the naughty list or I will black out the moon on Monday night.

   wishes I could search Google for my car keys...

   got kicked out of bowling tonight for spiking the ball after I made a strike.

   changing my Facebook name to "Nobody", that way I can 'like' a stupid status and it will read "Nobody likes this."

   making Sunday my favorite day since Rebecca Black ruined Fridays.

   “I like smoking a pipe of sweet hemp.” – Abraham Lincoln

   the world is ending Saturday??? Oh well this is bogus, it was supposed to be December 21, 2012?

   so "Diet Pepsi" and "Diet Coke" are now linked to increased weight, diabetes, risk of stroke/heart disease and they ruin your taste buds.... Can we change the name now to just "Gross Tasting Drink"?

   Grandmother died and in the will she left me the whole farm!! only later did I realized it was on Facebook. Well played Grandmother, well played.

   In an effort to save the economy the Government will be downsizing the population. Soon it will begin eliminating all the ugly people. My eyes began to water and my heart dropped when I thought of you, hang in there my friend. Be strong.

   *Solution to fix the problems you have with the new Facebook setup* First click the down arrow upper right corner, then click "Account Settings", then go to "security", select "deactivate account", small form to fill out, then confirm. Then go outside.

   Dear Facebook, please remove the instant "share" button. The newsfeed was no much cleaner when people were just too lazy to copy and paste.

   I picked up a bad habit of reading text messages, and then verbally responding to them, and then putting my phone away.