lard Funny Status Messages

   Knows the world will look up and shout “Save us!”… And he'll whisper “No.”

   At the bottom of that bottle of chardonnay were words I always had the good sense to say

   She realised I had lied about my "restaurant experience" when she saw her ceiling was dripping with balsamic vinaigrette.

   was playing "FARMVILLE" when immigration showed up and took all my workers ! ! !

   added my friend Jamal as a neighbour on Farmville yesterday.I logged on this morning to find that all my chickens had been stolen and he'd opened up a KFC

   I just opened my wheelie bin and a wasp flew out. Now what kind of sick person would do that?

   I wonder if my boss was more fun and carefree in his youth, when his name was Anakin.