jgmitts Funny Status Messages

   I was making love to Robert Pattinson for seven hours straight until security told me that Madam Tussuads was getting ready to close.

   Oh snap, I just dropped my cocaine in the snow. I'll never find it now.

   I'm sitting here enjoying a delicious protein muffin. Some may say because of the chocolate frosting and sprinkles that it's a cupcake but that's just not true.

   I spill things :(

   I just ate the chocolate off of 6 peanut butter eggs and now I have a pile of peanut butter... Yeah boyee!!!!!!!!

   Girl scout cookies just came, no time for Facebook!

   I had excellent grilled chicken for dinner that I'm actually enjoying the taste of my burps.

   I swear I have more hair on the left side of my head. That's weird.

   I got so much crap to do and I'm sitting around like a dingleberry.

   That was delicious corn on the cob. If you could have seen me enjoying it you would have thought I was a corn star.

   Mutton Chops will never go out of style in my eyes.

   If the Easter Bunny leaves you Jelly Beans, don't eat the brown ones.

   Great day with family, great food but right now I am egg-zausted!