j Funny Status Messages

   recommending a Magic 8 Ball for times when Obama has no teleprompter.

   determined to slam a revolving door...I will do this!

   'Kidnapping' is such a strong word. I prefer to think of it as 'surprise adoption

   If Ben Roethlisberger is actually getting married tomorrow----- I see no reason why Michael Vick cant own a dog!! :P

   In this bright future you can't forget your past. - Bob Marley, RIP

   If you watch Black Swan backwards, it's about a dancer who cures her insanity by sleeping with Mila Kunis.

   It's so cute how the outdoors try to compete with the internet.

   Golf got its name because all of the other four letter words were taken.

   Adele's ex-boyfriend and Gotye's ex-girlfriend should totally hook up.

   The difference between me and some other guys: If my significant other cheats on me, their ass will be out the door, no excuses, no second chances.

   Call me old fashioned but I prefer women with eyebrows made out of hair