hihuggiehi Funny Status Messages

   I wish they made Off Clip On Repellent for creepy people at WalMart

   You know your getting older when...At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.

   In an emergency, I`d probably write a status about it before calling the police

   There are many paths On the journey through life, I think I might have chose the psychopath....

   Changing the wording to my previous post doesn't make the previous status any funnier

   Learn to appreciate what you have, before time makes you appreciate what you had..

   I told you officer, I cut the ass out of the gorilla suit because they don't sell baboon costumes....I don't know who crapped on your car.

   A crazy woman tried to chase down my car as I left Walmart. Maybe it was the previous owner. She looked a lot like the baby in the backseat

   I don't know how anybody gets attacked by sharks...As soon as I heard that first, "Dun, Dun." I'd be out of there.

   The most powerful microscope can see the diameter of a hydrogen atom. If you look through that you still couldn't see how little I care about your drama

   I got kicked out the pool today,apperently the breaststroke isn't what I thought it was

   I have Attention Deficit Disorder. I get distracted easily because my head..... SHOULDERS, KNEES, AND TOES!! KNEES AND TOES!!

   You know it's getting bad when the voices in your head start texting you

   Here's an original idea: Invent a mirror that reflects the way others see you so you won't be blinded by your opinion of your reflection

   Dear Colonel Gaddafi: If you are going to use human shields to protect yourself from rebel attacks....May I suggest using Snookie, Justin Bieber, Casey Anthony and the Octomom

   I wonder if one day somebody will ever come and knock on my door and tell me “Hey we have 7 mutual friends in facebook", Can I come in?

   Just got fired from SuperCuts for suggesting we change our name to 'Shut the hell up. You're at the Mall. What did you Expect?''

   Remember, they're laughing with you, not at you. They're only pointing at you so you know who they're laughing with.

   I'm so gangster, I don't even send an error report to Microsoft when Internet Explorer unexpectedly quits. Snitches get Stitches.

   I got life alert just in case I ever get a life.