garyb Funny Status Messages

   his boss must think he's very motivational as he told me that everyone says they have to work twice as hard whenever I'm around.

   and I talk to myself on my Facebook wall... I'M AWESOME....I'M AWESOME

   My wife just came in to tell me about something that happened at work today and I asked her to hold on for a second as I grabbed a can of listening juice...I might need two.

   My GPS says (estimated time of arrival), I see (TIme to beat)

   So how many other corpses did Prince Charming kiss before he finally woke Snow White from her death sleep?

   I'm pissed...I signed up on Facebook almost a year ago and have not received a single phone call.

   The one good redeeming value of pedophiles is that they do drive slow through school zones.

   So happy Regis Philbin is finally retiring...I hear he's been trying to vacate his stool for years.