esoteric Funny Status Messages

   Like a Kamikaze pilot, I stay fly till I die.

   Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is

   Conserve energy, How would you feel if someone turned YOU on and then left?

   Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

   Vodka+Ice damages your kidney. Rum+Ice damages your liver. Whiskey+Ice damages your heart. Gin+Ice damages your brain. Damn Ice, how much more damage can you cause?

   Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.

   I hate doing laundry so much that I wait until the only thing I have left to wear is my Halloween Costume/

   Thank you for pretending not to see me, when I pretended not to see you

   I've always wanted to spin around in a chair and say: "I've been expecting you."

   If it was the other way around, I doubt one cat would take in 23 old ladies.

   I hate liars, but I love a good bedtime story.

   Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you can fall apart no matter how strong you are.

   90% of the time when I say "brb" it just means I don't want to talk to you anymore

   This kid at the store is screaming so loud that I think I just became sterile.

   Do more than belong.. Participate! Do more than care.. Help! Do more than believe.. Trust! Do more than be fair.. Be kind! Do more than forgive.. Forget! Do more than dream.. Work! Life keeps going, be part of it..

   Crazy? I was crazy once. My parents locked me in a round room and told me to sit in the corner. Corner? I couldn't find a corner! That bugged me. Bugs? I hate bugs. They drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once...

   beginning to think that this whole "being an adult" thing is not as fun as I had envisioned as a child, except for the alcohol part.

   People will always have an opinion about you. Whether positive or negative. They will tell you to your face or behind your back. Do what makes you happy. Live your life to the fullest. Life is too short to worry about someone's opinions.

   For the people who believe in this Rapture nonsense. Here's some information that will shock your gullible mind. In new Zealand it is now: Saturday May 21 and the current time is 7:42 AM ...havent heard anything from them yet.