dumpmonkey Funny Status Messages

   You know you're driving a new car when the items you pull from your nose go out the window and not on the floor mat.

   Ever notice there aren't any Asian Nascar drivers.

   Watching Cameron Diaz feeding A-Rod popcorn at the superbowl made me wish I was blind.

   Talked to Mom tonight. She said she got a good 8 inches in Albany tonight. God I hope she's talking about snow...

   Everytime I go to the pet store I feel compelled to ask the store clerk "where are all the b!tches at?"

   Today's Motto: You can't drink all day unless you start in the morning! Bottoms up, America.

   Friends with benefits = awesome! Uncles with benefits = creepy!