bubba Funny Status Messages

   I'm waiting for my marriage license to expire because I'm not going to renew

   got a new toilet brush, I tried it, but I think I'm going to stick with the paper.

   How many days should you wait, before you tell your buddy that you didn't get the message, that he needed help moving?

   Do camels think their feet looks like pussies?

   I use to hear snap crackle pop, and think of breakfast time. Now I hear it, I think I had better get out of this chair.

   The smoke alarm just went off....dinners ready!

   I bet the vampires goes crazy when Bella is ragging....

   "A good plan, violently executed now, is better than a perfect plan next week."

   Next time send the navy seals after Casey, not the Orange county sheriff

   You can PUT YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES ON AND DEAL WITH IT only so many times. Then the elastic breaks... and you really show your butt.

   Due to sanitary reasons, we will not and cannot accept any money that comes out of bras.

   Had a great weekend, now Monday just like always comes and steps in and ruins it

   What's worse...being the paparazzi who has to take photos of Justin Bieber or being the paparazzi who gets his ass kicked by Justin Beiber?

   The Girlfriend left a note on the fridge "IT'S NOT WORKING, I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE , I'M GOING TO MOTHERS " I opened the fridge, the light came on, The Beer was Cold,,, What the Hell is she talking about !?!?

   Lance Armstrong probably didn't have the balls to admit he was using drugs

   If Cinderella's shoe fit perfect, why did it slip off to start with?

   My neighbor is in training to become a porn star. I asked her how her first day went. She said it was a lot to take in.

   I hope the lottery girl pulls out my balls tonight....