bryan j brown Funny Status Messages

   You know I think its real messed up that clubs have "Ladies Night" where a bunch of them can go and drink free for a while and dance...But they dont have a "Guys Night" where dudes can do the same...??Oh wait??..That sounds kinda gay...NEVERMIND

   Mary Poppins did a great job getting kids to take there meds...Cause a spoon full of sugar really does help the medicine go down... Its just too bad all the kids she watched got Type 2 diabetes now...

   HEY EVERYBODY ON FACEBOOK!! MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION!!....i'm so humble..ok..that is all...

   Dont send me no questions to my inbox...Cuz I aint answering them...I aint yo Magic 8-ball...

   A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush...heheheehe...I said bush:)

   You know Ive never understood those 1-900 numbers...It seems strange to me to pay to hear a woman's crazy talk on the phone for hours...Im gonna come up with my own 1-900 number where you pay a woman to just be quite for awhile...

   Those peeps out there are actin crazy..I had to hit someone over the head wit a frozen turkey...But that old lady had it comin cuz that will be the last time she runs over my foot wit her wheelchair....

   I read that the first vibrator was created to cure women who had hysteria....So I guess they created the first vacuum hose to cure men high blood pressure...

   Im not tryin to start no controversy but wouldn't some pizza combos and a cream soda hit the spot right now?

   I gots to say nothing turns me on more then looking at some of these pics on facebook of these chicks flippin the bird....I mean its so dang sexy...Its the kinda pic you can show your grandkids and tell them thats how you fell for their grandma..

   Not sure why my bill collector keep trippin and askin for their money...I mean as long as I owe yall money you will alwayz have a job...Hell you should be callin to thank me cuz I'm your job security....

   Sometimes when I'm bored I take red and blue M&Ms and walk up to random people...And try too convince them that one of them will get'em out the Matrix.....

   If I died wouldnt it be weird if you still got random status updates from me?? "I can see the light"...."This line to see Jesus is long"...."I wonder if someone will let me front skip them"...."Oh snap heaven is doin pat-downs"

   Doin the same thing I do every night...Try to take over the world!

   You know ur up too early when someone tells you "Good morning" and all you can do is think "if this mo fo says one more thing to me I'm gonna stab them in the neck with a pencil".....

   I once could hear everything but your cries..but now I cant hear anything but your silence....

   Ladies if you wanna get yo man a tie this Christmas thats fine...Just make sure you are wearing tie with nothing else on when you give it too him...

   I have all these kung-fu skills and no ninjas too fight...I'm starting too think I'm living in the wrong city....

   I feel for those straving kids when I see those feed the children commercials...But when they show those kids and the lil fly comes and lands on there heads its a lil over the top..Cuz I dont care how hungry you are you got enough energy to knock a fly aw

   Yowers...You know the way she keeps trying to Double Dare me...I'm think she's wants to Take the Physical Challenge