XX-FOXY Funny Status Messages

   Mom: What does “WTF” stand for? Child: "Well That`s Fantastic!"

   Friend tellin me " Bro I wasn`t that drunk…." Me: “Dude you destroyed my gf's garden at 4:00AM while shouting and screaming "F**k Farmville!"

   "Are you athletic?" .. "Yeah I surf.....the internet"

   Every girl needs a good guy to help her laugh when she thinks she`ll never smile again.

   Stress makes you very tired, but it`s stressful to avoid stress, so you end up stressed out anyway,

   There are two things a man can never hide: 1. When he`s drunk, and 2. and when he's in love...

   A beautiful girl is a beautiful girl, but a beautiful girl with a brain & smarts is a weapon of mass destruction...

   Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving...

   Nobody's life is perfect, but life itself does have perfect moments….

   I'm not lazy. I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.

   Of course I talk to myself. I need to have an intelligent conversation every now & then...

   I wonder if aliens ask each other. Do you believe in HUMANS?!

   Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.

   Friend: "Your phone`s ringing." Me: "Yeah, phones do that..."

   If you don`t like something, change it. If you can`t change it, change your attitude. Don`t complain...

   Some women should realize that they've lost the moon while trying to count the stars…

   What Woodstock 1969 tought us is that life isn`t about waiting for the storm to pass, it`s about learning to dance in the rain...

   I must need glasses because everywhere I look, people seem to have two faces!

   A person who says they will never lie to you is probably lying already

   Any person can be nice to my face, but it takes a real friend to be nice behind my back...