Trueman Funny Status Messages

   Police have confirmed that a man who fell into a combine harvester while trying to steal it..will be bailed tomorrow!!

   I had a passionate sexy romp under the covers this morning!..though I'm not too sure Wimbledon security were too thrilled about it?

   I asked the librarian for the latest book on erectile dysfunction! She clattered her computer keyboard and said.."It's not coming up!"...I said.."Yeah!...that's the one!!

   To err is hunam!!

   The body of a man was found in Pizza Hut this morning, covered in cheese, tomatoes, onions and peperami Police are working on the theory that he may have topped himself!!

   I'm an elephant Circumcisionist! The money's lousy...but the tips are huge!!

   Puppet theft is getting out of hand!

   I walked into the library yesterday and asked if they had the reference work.."Calcification Of The Spine"...The librarian said..."I've got a hardback"...I said..."Yeah...that's the one...thank you!!"

   I often get a "yes" from women...but it's usually followed by..."that's him officer"

   My mother in law won "best decorated house" yesterday for Halloween?..she was only opening the curtains?

   Pumpkin for sale! [slightly used]

   I've been invited to a neighbour's house later for drinks with nibbles!...they treat that bloody cat like Royalty?

   .. I maybe dumb enough to listen to him, but I am smart enough not to believe him.