Total Package Funny Status Messages

   General Motors is poised to become “the success story” of the recession. GM said it wants to thank those who made its recovery possible: Toyota's brakes, Toyota's steering, and Toyota's accelerators!

   It's so cold outside right now that angry drivers are flipping each other the mitten!

   loves the Daisy air rifle he got for Christmas and is anxiously awaiting the first Jehovah's Witness to come to the door!

   unscrewing a bottle of his favorite wine...Chateau Libido! ;)

   Looks like OPEC is up to their old tricks again....I had to cash in a few T-Bills and sell off a kidney to fill up my truck this morning!

   I can't understand why Burger King is getting so much credit for their Whopper delivery idea when I've been providing the same free service to lonely women since 1983....Such a thankless job! ツ

   Why didn't the gay cop from "The Village People" save the day in that Orlando club?