Timboss Funny Status Messages

   So my boss told me I was well rounded this morning... I didnt know whether to thank him.. or punch his lights out..

   ahhh! The life of an overworked Zombie

   Just some helpful advice.. If someone shows up at your job with a camera crew and says they are doing a documentary about your job... you're probably on an episode of Undercover Boss..

   hates it when the doctor tells me I'm going to feel a slight sensation... *shudder*

   taking a trip to the "far side" today.. Yes.. I am going to Wal-Mart..

   I hate it when I get pissed, SLAM the door, storm out of the house.. then realize I have to go back in for my car keys..

   resisting the new profile page.. Read the signs people! Today, your profile page.. tomorrow the world!

   gonna have to go fight the holiday crowds at Wal-Mart. hmm.. Long Bow or Broad Sword?

   wishes I would have got a new cell phone from Santa this year.. This rotary texting is really a drag.

   Back in my day they never shut our school down for snow.. They just moved the school and made us walk further..

   God made your butt crack up and down because if it were sideways, when you went down a slide it would sound like this bufufufufufufufuublubufubufbufbufbuf

   just spent my Saturday watching commercials on AMC interupted by 10 minutes segments of movie..

   I wish I could be as enthusiastic about life as my dog is about the arrival of the mail man..

   Due to the politcal climate in America today, all "Target" stores will be changing their names to "Objective"

   Sonny Corleone would still be alive today if he'd had a pike pass.

   This just in.. Governor Mary Fallin has just signed legislation naming the penguin as the new State Bird of Oklahoma...

   just turned the news on and they were talking about Justin Beiber getting a haircut. Really? The world is going to hell in a hand basket.. but Justin Beiber got a haircut.. Who gives a rip??

   So what if we find out tha Charlie Sheen has been right all along, and the rest of us have been wrong?

   People please!! It's not the end of the world. It's just the beginning of a new, glowing, ticking kind of world..

   just caught a glimpse of the supermoon coming from behind the clouds.. It looked like..... the moon!