The piper Funny Status Messages

   Some people wait their entire life for their ship to come in, not realizing that they are standing in an airport..

   Don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat. The government hates competition!

   When I'm watching a 3D movie I take the glasses off for a second to see the difference.

   Roses are red, violets are blue, I hate rhyming, make me a sandwich.

   I was on a plane today. The stewardess said, "would you like some headphones?" I said, "sure, but how did you know my name was Phones?"

   Facebook just suggested I be friends with my ex. I marked it 'Offensive

   I asked my Heart : Why can't I Sleep at Night? My Heart told me : Because you have already Slept in the Afternoon. Don't act like you are in Love !

   Whenever one office door closes, 50 browser windows open

   I can't see an end, I have no control and I don't think there's any escape, I don't even have a home anymore...Definitely time for a new keyboard.