Seth Funny Status Messages

   Ambercrombie and fitch said they are going to offer to pay the Jersey Shore cast to stop wearing their clothing. Nothing like one group of douchebags telling another group of douchebags to stop dressing like douchebags.

   Nothing is worse than biting into a hot pocket than when your two front teeth slice through a gritty frozen meat ball.

   If you still have a Romney sticker on your car, I got news that may come as a bit of a surprise to some of you. He lost.

   That hilarious moment when people are over taxed and act like its never happened before.

   Remember. Guns aren't illegal. We just want you to prove you're not a psychopath before you buy it.

   If you don't want me to bring party hats and confetti, don't include the word 'party' in "Search Party."

   Posting pictures of a huge supply of hard liquor isn't going to impress anyone but your toxicologist.

   Attending community college without student aid has made me realize some things. 1. Never rely on the bus as your only form of transport. Buses break down. 2. Mixing Taco Bell sauce with Top Ramen tastes exactly like poverty.

   You think after making 58 mil last year, Bieber could buy a freakin belt.

   My six year old nephew asked what he should say if a bully said to give him his lunch money. I said tell him you left it on his moms nightstand.

   My spirit animal would run into a screen door.

   Late night 20 minute conversations with the McDonalds Drive thru guy about those who we aspire to love, the desolate restitution of our youth, and McNuggets. Because adulthood.