SAM Funny Status Messages

   has lowered his expectations to the point where they've already been met.

   Amazon always recommends me the things I bought, I mean dude why would I want the same or similar thing again

   I am used but in good condition

   Life Aint Always What It Seems To Be .. you Have Ur Ups N Downs Either Happily Or Sad But At The End Of The Day you Gotta Jus Forget Bout All That N Hope you Wake Up To Live The Next Day

   Sex,drugs & rock n roll are all very well, but nothing beats a nice cup of tea.

   WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?, MC-SEABASS? IT'S THE MCDONALD'S MENU, IT'S BEEN THE SAME FOR TWENTY YEARS! IT'S ALL MCCRAP! JUST ORDER!

   Dear Internet Users, Someday, you're going to regret not reading me... Sincerely, Terms & Conditions.

   Did you hear about the boat that sunk on the 5th of May that had all that mayonnaise on it? It was called, Sinko the Mayo.

   When the mechanic said I 'blew a seal', I was afraid he referring about that summer I worked at Sea World but it turns out it's some car thing. 🤭

   When I get bored, I like to call in sick to places that I don't work. Today, I am getting written up at Kohl's.