QueenBee404 Funny Status Messages

   thinks that marriage should be like football; you must show up fully committed and prepared and score every opportunity you get!

   wondering why when the best actors are chosen by actors it is called the Oscars, but when the best actors are chosen by regular people it is called an election.

   didn't mean to accept your friend request. This is the last status you will read.

   working today to stamp out, eliminate and erradicate redundancy...

   wonders why is it that when someone wants to give me advice they "put their two cents in" but I only get "a penny for my thoughts". Where is that second penny going? I think I might be getting ripped off...

   wondering if I get stopped for speeding in a Toyota can I tell the officer I had a "Prius-exisiting condition?"

   thinks that Obama may just get into the Guiness Book of World records for "Most People Screwed in a Single Day"...

   if you follow your heart, you will eventually end up in your chest cavity.

   if at first you don't succeed, you will never make it to second.

   thinks that the legalization of marijuana for medicinal purposes should have been part of the Health Care Bill. I could then have developed a serious case of anal glaucoma and I would be too stoned to care about all the money this is going to cost us.

   wondering why I can put my "two cents in" but I only get "a penny for my thoughts." I suspect I might be getting ripped off...

   for every husband who says that his wife cannot take a joke, he should remember that she took him...

   to all of my FB friends: I love you all and you are fabulous! Except for you #78; you are just an ass. You know who you are so don't even try to fake the funk...

   Farmville? Fishville? I want to play Margaritaville. All I need is: 1800 Tequila, a pop-top and a woman to blame. But if I don't get them, I know it is my own damn fault.

   saw a car today that had a sticker that said "Americans never forget". Then I remembered that Hiliary Clinton is Secretary of State so obviously we do...

   wondering why if vegetarian food is so great, everything they make is "turkey flavored" this or "chicken flavored" that.

   just saved a lot of money on my car insurance by fleeing the scene of the accident.

   an alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

   working on my taxes and has come to the conclusion that taxation WITH respresentation is not that great either...

   Old Macdonald had an agricultural real-estate tax abatement...