One Funny Status Messages

   at work, online researching how to be more productive at work

   first you want same sex marriage, what's next...same sex divorce

   Ronald McDonald just killed Burger King in front of Dairy Queen over that B*t*h Wendy

   Turning his beds into bunk beds so that there is more room for activities

   Blaming a Happy Meal your kid is too fat, is like suing a gym for losing weight.

   I've just decided I want a bunch of kids with several baby mamas, so my children will all look different and I can match em' with my wardrobe

   two nuns are riding their bikes down a small stone trail, one nun tells the other "wow, I've never came this way before", "yeah I know, it must be these stones

   A. B. C. D. E. F. G. Someone should've told you not to fu ck with me

   Why do you bake cookies and cook bacon

   Jesus is coming, Quick, look busy

   just paid my electric bill, so i'm kinda low on the stuff we trade out for those ice cold beers

   It's called cocaine and you dont want no part of this sh!t...It turns all your bad feelings into good feelings. It's a nightmare

   If wishes and buts were candy and nuts, Obama supporters would have the White House filled with pimps and sluts

   if it is not on wikipedia, then you are wrong, lady

   If a cop stops me and says "papers" and I say "scissors" do I win?

   do you really want Miracle Water made by Rev. Peter Popoff.com

   you can pick your friends....you can pick your nose.......but you can't pick your friend's nose!

   Get off the phone while you driving and while your at it, pick a lane and stick to it

   Bingo! I love that game, but I can't remember what to say when you win.

   Trying is the first step toward failure.