Name Funny Status Messages

   expierencing difficulties coping with the limbostic stages of his transitional existence.

   I'm surprised the Pope didn't tweet from an Android, considering humanity and God's experience with apples.

   It's so cold, tonight I got a $5 foot long from subway, but by the time I got back to my car it was only 6 inches...

   Shout-out to Mother Nature for not giving snakes wings...

   The weather is such a slut. The wind blows everyone, the rain makes everyone wet, the sun makes everyone take their clothes off, and the snow covers everyone in white stuff.

   People are dying with Covid not from Covid. Two different things...

   I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can't figure out who's going to do it.

   if roosters can start each day screaming, then damn it, so can I...

   Sorry, I meant to say why does Trump keep bringing up Biden's past. Sorry for the mistake.