Mile Funny Status Messages

   All the problems in out country right now and our President is playing more golf than Tiger Woods!!! FML.

   figured out that bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks

   I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants

   this heat is making me as confused as a baby in a strip club...

   wondering, how many rich people in Nigeria is there? Cause every day, according to my emails, at least 5 die & want to leave me their money...

   She: "Ummm, I dont think we should, I have I boyfriend." He: "So? I have a skateboard but I'd much rather drive a car"

   upset :( threw my iPhone with the "flight mode" on, but it didn't fly...