MDS Funny Status Messages

   The US is ranked 25th in math scores...this isn't any surprise to me, our elected leaders can't even ballance a budget.

   the fact that she loves anal is awesome...I just wish she'd layoff the hot peppers!

   gave my wife a Klondike bar...still waiting to see what she's going to do

   ...I'm begining to think my Amish friend isn't going to text me.

   it's funny how gas can drop $10.00 a barrel and the price at the pump stays the same for a week or so, but if it goes up a dollar the price at the pump jumps right away.. that's just F'd up, if you ask me.

   Men have "The Man Cave", but, when polled what the female version should be called the #1 answer was "The Maxie Pad" with "The Kitchen" and "The Laundry Room" coming in 2nd and 3rd respectively

   Remember the theme song from the Adams family?.. trust me, you will all day ;) dabba-da-bump *snap*snap

   *ATTENTION* I have a copy of tomorrows newspaper complete with sports scores, police blotters, and other interesting facts!.. I'm selling this for $352.83 a true bargain!! I can deliver the newspaper anytime tomorrow after 9:00 am

   Today when you are looking at your pay-stub, keep in mind that the 48 million people on welfare like you!!

   It's a well known fact... buying cheap toilet-paper can lead to a self violation.

   ..nothing up here, try further down the page.

   When this Ho on Maury found out that the 36th dude tested wasn't the Father, she ran so far backstage, I flipped the Channel and she was running across the set of ESPN!

   Waking up to Monday is kinda like the Mayans being right.

   There is a photo of Obama circulating around FB showing how much he's grayed over the past 4 years since becoming president.. It's hard to believe that one man could age so much worrying about his next round of golf.

   I walked out to get the newspaper this morning and the neighbor had already picked his up.

   Good thing it's Valentines day, cause I woke up with a massive heart on!

   It's the little things in life that matter the most... for instance the refrigerator light, helping you to see that last beer way in the back!

   So, I've noticed that your superpower is the ability to create drama out of absolutely nothing.

   Justin Bieber's music is actually really good!...Once you turn the volume down all the way.

   I took a sexual harassment course this afternoon ....I think I'm gonna be pretty good at it.