LauraP Funny Status Messages
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Mr. President, now that we have the birth certificate we will need your SS#, credit card #'s, bank account #'s and all pins and passwords...Thanks Donald
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04-27-2011 10:16 by LauraP
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Do you think once Mark Zuckerberg gets enough friends he will stop screwing with FaceBook?
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10-12-2011 20:02 by LauraP
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If you like mine, I'll like yours. Status people...talking STATUS!
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10-13-2011 17:02 by LauraP
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If I ever have to pay FaceBook to see what my friends are up to, we will be meeting back at the bar!
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10-15-2011 21:34 by LauraP
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When we start seeing our posts used by comedians...It's time to band together and sue!
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10-23-2011 14:15 by LauraP
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It's no wonder I am claustrophobic.I like fresh air, open space & my head out of my a$$....Unlike slow drivers in the fast lane driving w/the blinker on for miles :(
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10-23-2011 21:36 by LauraP
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Sometimes I wake up grumpy, and sometimes I let him sleep!
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10-23-2011 22:21 by LauraP
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The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
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10-23-2011 22:42 by LauraP
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To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.
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10-24-2011 03:47 by LauraP
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A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers.
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11-12-2011 17:42 by LauraP
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Why does a squirrle swim on its back? To keep its nuts dry...
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11-17-2011 21:35 by LauraP
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children are God's way of punishing us for having sex.
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11-21-2011 19:37 by LauraP
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When you enter a relationship, it's as if you sign a contract that says, “I give you 70% of my feelings. I acknowledge that you can play with them, make them feel good, and I also acknowledge that you can freaking destroy them.”
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12-02-2011 19:23 by LauraP
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A mind without laughter is a dangerous place to pitch a tent...
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12-07-2011 09:11 by LauraP
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Going to start living like a dog...If I cant eat it or play with it....I will piss on it and walk away
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12-07-2011 21:30 by LauraP
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suing Trojan...It didn't blow my hair back!!!
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12-16-2011 09:44 by LauraP
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