Kobrah Funny Status Messages

   So there're these 'don't start forest fires' commercials telling me to get my smokey on. All I can think is "If an anthropomorphic bear in a pair of jeans and one of those ranger hats comes up and tells me not to set stuff on fire, I probably already did

   I wanna find a girl who loves me for my money, but doesnt understand math.

   A friend of mine once commented that huamns are the only species to go out of our way to obtain milk after we've been weaned, I replied that we were the only species with cookies.

   If love is a game..where can I buy the multiplayer-version?

   If I ever have a girlfriend that requests that we have a 'song' together, after I laugh, I shall suggest master p - you can be my b!tch

   Religious girls are easy, once I convince them I'm god

   i do what I please and I please who I do.

   when someone asks you what time it is..glance at your watch and say "it's either 6:15 or mickey has a hard-on." guaranteed they'll ask someone else.

   wants to find a woman but then has a beer and a nap and it makes everything right again

   you know, i've only ever been wrong once in my life, and that's when I thought I was wrong but was actually right.

   I don't think I'm better than others, it just so happens that so far, statistically, I am

   I'm still looking for a girl that can get aroused by the sound of a hard drive spinning down

   Women are like refrigerators; cold on the inside, you always want to put your meat in them, and they all belong in the kitchen.

   girls are like square roots. If they're under 15 you just do them in your head

   My favorite sexual position: The Chilean miner. That's where you go down on me and stay there till Christmas.

   A woman's work is never done. Which is probably why they don't make as much.

   Genius - The ability to produce fantastic amounts of equally fantastic bullsh*t that all makes perfect sense

   If you watch Scarface backwards, it's about a man who gives up cocaine and crime to follow his dream of becoming a dishwasher to earn enough money so he can visit Cuba.