Kelly Funny Status Messages

   Twas the night before Christmas, and I have not a joke, just a bunch of these presents and now I am broke. I shall awake in the mornin and hear all the chatter, watch my children open gifts realizing the clothes dont matter. To all of you out there I wish

   Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic

   i think jay z and beyonce child is gonna be the anti christ... i'm just saying

   R.I.P Nobel Laureate Prof. Wangari Maathai....

   You know how when a guy pees and at the end he shakes his thing to get the last drop out? Well, that's how much gas I got for $2.00.