KIsstopher Funny Status Messages

   Today is world animal day...let's all take a moment of silence... and remember our Ex's

   men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from woman : a little bit support and a little bit of freedom

   A dog ask a cat, "why do you always make love in secret?" The cat answers, "coz we don't want humans to copy us like they did to you dogs"

   When you're waiting for him in his T-shirt, it's cute. But when he's waiting for you in your T-shirt, it's time to start worrying.

   Okay ladies, here is the deal, we will stop talking about masturbation if you stop talking about your period. Fair trade.

   Never judge a girl by her makeup!

   Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

   If I ever die because of marijuana, mark on my grave, “I am too stoned to get up!”

   CONSEQUENCES OF TODAY'S MODERN LIFE STYLES: The wife rushed into house screaming to her husband: Darling, Come quick! Your kids and my kids are beating our kids!

   If you read this, I'm SMART. If you like this, you agree that I'm SMART. If you copy and paste this, you are spreading that I'm SMART & if you don't like this, you are jealous coz I'm SMART!

   There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".

   People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

   How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Admits Hes lost?

   Morality is doing what is right no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told no matter what is right.

   If you believe you can tell me what to think, I believe I can tell you where to go.

   We have just enough Religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.

   Lol @ the dude buying condoms and getting his card declined. He just got c**k blocked by Visa.

   Even a fish can escape being caught, if it keeps it's mouth shut.

   What you don't see with your eyes, don't invent with your mouth.

   Girl: Mom, I want some fresh air.. Can I go for a walk? Mom: Yes, but tell your “fresh air” to drop you home by 9 pm..!!