Jimmie Watkins Funny Status Messages

   Must have finally caught "Beiber Fever", Every time I hear about this prick, I wanna puke...

   Just got back from visiting the future, was disapointed you weren't there. Can't go into details, but please stay away from revolving doors, and bean dip.

   Went to Arby's today, and had a buddy hide in the trunk. When we got to the window to pickup our order, We had him start yelling and banging his fists on the trunk.I turned up the stereo, and handed the guy my money, and said loudly "I LOVE this song!!"

   I love how you can make ANYTHING you say sound dirty, just by adding one of those "Air Quotation" gestures.

   For fun, I cut out jack-o-lantern, put it on my head, and went into stores, asking if they sold pumpkin pie. When the startled employees said yes, I would leave the store yelling "Murderer's!" over and over again.

   You know what they say about a man and his feet, That's why I don't find my fear of being raped by a clown irrational.

   For fun, I like to tase people at renissance fairs, it makes me feel like an evil wizard.

   Sometimes, numbers are the only thing you can truely count on.

   Sometimes I watch sports holding an xbox controller just to screw with my girlfriend's head...

   Dream: Own a beer company named responsibly. Then all the other beer companies do my advertising for me.

   I believe a lot of conflict in the old west could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone.