JR Funny Status Messages

   Thinks it's time to start working out. I'm used to my stomach jiggling when I brush my teeth, but now it won't stop until I finish rinsing.

   The rest of the world loves soccer. Surely we must be missing something. Uh, isn't that what the Russians told us about communism? Soccer blows.

   Sometimes I see a cute kid and think "someday I might want one of those". But then I realize that I say the same thing about monkeys and rocketships and the feeling goes away.