J. BIAZA Funny Status Messages

   When you start smoking beers and drinking cigarettes its time to quits call it.

   There has gotta be a better use for the part of my brain that remembers all the words to 'Baby Got Back'.

   ‎"Be excellent to each other." ~ Bill S. Preston Esquire & Ted "Theodore" Logan

   I don't know about y'all but every time I see that Direct TV commercial...I really want a miniature giraffe.

   Sometimes I think that life is one big test...and I'm in the wrong classroom.

   I'm kinda bored...I think I'm gonna go hang this 'No U-Turn' sign in a cul-de-sac somewhere.

   Creating creative statuses is one of the many habits of highly effective people!

   I am on hold. My call is important to them.

   Todays Thing To Do: Make a To-Do list.

   If my death is as extraordinary as my life... then I should go quietly in my sleep.

   Wanna feel confident and attractive? Me too! Let's all get drunk!

   I'm thinking about becoming a psychic...But I don't know what people would think.

   You'd think that after all these years of practice I'd be good at waking up by now.

   People who persevere are annoying to the rest of us who'd rather quit and go drink.

   I only make mental bets and coincidentally I've lost my mind.

   Forget health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

   Cleavage is something you can look down on and approve of at the same time.

   Ya Know?!?......The number of ways I could care less...... is astounding!

   Health plans are like hospital gowns…You only think you're covered.

   I was gonna buy a copy of 'The Power of Positive Thinking', and then I thought, what good would that do?