Ha Ha Funny Status Messages

   All girls with cats are bitter and crazy, and all straight men with cats are secretly gay.

   Smoking does not actually kill you. There are plenty of old people in Europe.

   You're not “alternative” by choice; you were rejected by the mainstream.

   beginning to feel like every day of my life is like an open tryout for a wacky new reality television show.

   has been thinking a lot lately. Did I say "thinking"? I meant "drinking."

   Last night, a car crashed into a Taco Bell by my house. Customers were shocked to hear screams and explosions that weren't coming from the bathroom.

   If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, there would be world peace for at least two hours.