Goodeolboy Funny Status Messages

   You know you have Southern Roots, when you try and eat cornbread with your Capt'n Crunch.

   In the spirit of Father's Day, my best advice to you: "Keep your "business" in your pants, and always wash your hands".

   Proof of insurance Officer? Of course didn't you see my two State Farm stickers on my bumper?

   Government cheese makes the world a better place!

   You ever start to turn numb because you have your AC turned up on max, but you don't want to turn it down because it's 110 deg outside?

   Thinking about getting a tattoo of an arrow pointing to my farmer tan that reads "I work"

   If I have to explain one more time why I'm wearing a cast, I'm writing "Attacked by Ninjas" on it!

   It's so hot in MY town, gangs are doing drive-bys with squirt guns!

   My twelve year old was riding with me listening to a classic rock station and he says "I can't believe they have a Rock Band staion!"

   Has anyone ever completed a round of anti-biotics?

   fixing something with WD-40 and a Craftsman wrench.

   The first person to fabricate a muffler for a Dentist's drill, will make a fortune!

   Just so you know, if I were in shark infested water I would be ALL the way on the boat before removing my regulator and talking to the camera.

   has enough wiper wash for 78 butterflies, after that I'm screwed!

   Do I have an iPhone? Dude my phone has snake on it, does that answer your question?

   Why is it when someone is under water on TV, I hold my breath also?

   Rum, Dr. Pepper, and the Curse of the Black Pearl. The end to a great weekend!

   Surprised someone hasn't capitalized on a workout video for these sign holders.

   My hats off to all the guys who only have AM radio in their work trucks...yeah I'm listening to Merle Haggard also!

   REAL Rednecks read bedtime stories using their best "monster truck" voice.